Query

Is it possible to actively change your outlook on life/ how you in†eract with the world? Or is change just a part of the process and it will happen (or not) without any outside influence?

From personal experience I have found that my most positive changes have come about when I am actively seeking change. Moving out of depression, becoming more outgoing and social, dating for the first time: all were products of participation in activities specifically designed (by me) to facilitate change. Without making the conscious choice to start dancing and force myself to act as though I were outgoing, none of that would have happened. I was the catalyst for my own reaction.

In contrast, when I have pursued goals like making myself more social, happier, etc., I have found that I change in other ways (confidence, effort, ease of communication). Now, I haven't actively set out to make myself more attractive (as a friend, or as a member of the opposite gender), but it does seem to have occurred in some way related to the other activities. Is this a change that would have come about on its own? Is it all just linked to greater self-esteem that comes from time being more comfortable in activities?